Cerys from Catatonia called for some advice on relaunching her career as a married, expectant folk singer from Nashville, Tennessee.

I tell her I find botox keeps me looking youthful, but only if I inject it. It doesn't work in a sandwich.

I'm also using "walking-around therapy" as a means of keeping fit and stimulating my speech-writing circuits.

I can hear Cerys scratching away with a pen as I go on to sing the praises of St. John's Warts. But then I hear her stifling a yawn, and I bring the conversation to a halt.

I wish Marlon wouldn't give my mobile number out to all and sundry. I've got better things to do than dole out free advice to "pop" artists. There's the revolution, for one thing. Also, I planted too much rocquet this year, so I'm up to my ears in salad.